When I was young, I was told that I was adopted. It was never made to be a big deal. A couple of times going up, kids at school made fun of it but it didn’t bother me. When I became a teenager, I started thinking that I wanted to find out about my birth parents. I talked to my adoptive parents and told them that I was going to start searching for my birth parents. I told them that they are my family that raised me and loved me. I wasn’t looking to replace them. They wished me luck in my journey.

At that time I didn’t know where to begin. I located the original adoption papers in my father’s house and that’s where the searching stopped at that time since I didn’t know where to go from there.

After I graduated college and got married for the first time, I started searching again. I re-connected with my adoptive father’s first wife whom I consider my mom. I have three mothers in my life – my birth mother who brought me into the world, my adoptive father’s first wife (Diane) who was my mom until the age of six, and my adoptive father’s girlfriend (Jayne) who raised me from six to eighteen.

When I talked to Diane, she stated that my adoption was a private adoption. She said that my mother was from Southern California and moved to Northern California to have me. She said that my mother gave me up for adoption because I would be born out of wedlock. I petitioned the State of California for my birth records that concurred with what Diane told me.

In 1994, I registered with ALMA with the information I had from the State of California and what Diane had told me.

My adoptive father’s mother told me that when she worked at Henshaw’s Department store, there was a woman whose husband was away at war and whose brother used to come by a lot to see her.

My grandmother was supportive of my efforts to find my birth mother. She would always ask me if I had found her. She passed away in 1994.

In 1994 I was working as an onsite customer service rep. One of the employees at the company was looking for his birth father. He got me in touch with the searcher he was working with. She was able to find out my birth mother’s name, my siblings names, my birth mother’s current address and phone number, her previous marriages and the name of the birth father..

I called my birth mother ten minutes after I received the phone number. My birth mother stated that I had taken a long time to call. She provided me with few details. She stated that she didn’t remember who my father was but I was welcome to call back. After the phone call, I had more questions to ask her because the story about why she put me up for adoption did not concur with what I received from the State of California. I wrote her a letter asking what did she mean "It took me a long time to call!" Had she known about me when I was growing up, did she know my birth father’s parents, etc.? I also enclosed pictures of myself from birth to that present time. I waited two weeks to call back and she told me that it was too painful to talk to me anymore. I told her OK and that I wouldn’t call her anymore and respected her wishes. I stopped searching at that point.

Here we are in 2008 and I’m going through boxes of stuff and I come across the information from my search for my birth family. I found my ALMA membership card and went online to the site. I printed out the form to update my profile. I filled it out with the information I had and mailed it on July 8^th. On Friday July 11^th the day ALMA received my updated information, I received a voicemail stating that I should send an email because they had some good news for me.

Needless to say, I hardly slept that night wondering what had been found. I figured that it was just my birth mother. What a phone call and email it was! ALMA had verified the information I had given, found out where my siblings were located with phone numbers. What an amazing moment to be given information that I have been looking for.

I called one of my sisters and she told me that my birth mother had told all of my siblings about me after the last time I talked to her. It was a great moment to speak with my sister. I am hoping that we continue to talk and I am able to connect with my other siblings.

It just goes to show that it is important to

update your information!

Mark H.

ALMA Member Since 1994